Modern inventions have made our lives infinitely easier...but also they have made us incredibly lazy. The other day, as I was trying to peel a hard-boiled egg, I thought "there should be a better and easier way to peel eggs". Yes, I suppose I have become that lazy, but it started me thinking about what are some of the strange items that people have invented to hopefully make our lives easier.
There have been millions of inventions, but I picked out the ones that I thought were the top 10 weirdest ones. These inventors were taking some seriously good drugs or were out of their minds. Here they are in no particular order:
1. Wooden Bathing Suits (1929): These suits were supposed to make swimming easier... erm... seems unlikely. They may have added a little buoyancy in the water, but they are clearly awkward and do not have nearly the buoyancy of a good old-fashioned life jacket. Just to be clear, they did have life jackets back then.
2. Car with Shovel for Pedestrians (1924): Invented in Paris, this car was designed for the purpose of "reducing the number of casualties among pedestrians". It boggles the mind how this invention was supposed to work.
3. Baby Window Cages (1922): Apparently, parenting brings out the sadist in inventors. One inventor thought it might be a good idea to get a child sun and fresh air by sticking him/her in a cage that hangs out of the window. It was designed for parents who lived in high rises. Apparently, hanging your child out to dry with the laundry far enough up in the air to make Spider-man wince was preferable to taking the little tyke for a walk.
4. Radio Stroller (1921): This stroller was equipped with a radio, including antenna and loudspeaker, to keep the baby quiet. How something with a loudspeaker that large will keep a child quiet is unfathomable.
5. Snowstorm Mask (1939): Invented in Canada (because they know about snow), this mask was a plastic face protection for snowstorms. And it is oh so sexy for the wearer!
6. Revolver Camera (1938): Here is a Colt 38 which carries a small camera that automatically takes a picture when you pull the trigger. At the left: six pictures taken by the camera. Perfect for the hitman to keep a record of his kills and makes life easier for the police.
7. Piano for the Bedridden (1935): This invention is pretty cool. Being stuck in bed probably gets terribly boring. What a great way to relieve boredom, but this instrument is freaky and you'd need a really big room to accommodate it.
8. Gas Resistant Stroller (1938): In England, during World War II, there was a real threat that German bombers might drop poison gas bombs. Every British civilian was issued a gas mask. It would be impossible to put a mask on a baby, so here is the solution. Weird. Looks more like a portable grill. (Tastes like chicken!)
9. Hangover Mask (1947): This mask was designed to help Hollywood actresses fight against hangovers. It is made up of ice cubes stuck in different spots in order to cool the face. It was developed by Max Factor. The precursor to sadomasochism masks?
10. Mouse Killing Stockings (1941): In the 1940s, and apparently in every cartoon made in the early half of the 20th century, mice climbing up women’s legs was a real problem. It was so much of a problem that one inventor came up with copper stockings that would shock mice to death when they tried to climb women’s legs. The story is that the invention would not hurt the wearer. Hmmm... I’m still trying to figure out where these swarms of terrifying leg mice went.
2 comments:
I am especially fond of the baby window cage.
I like the baby cage too. I think we all should have baby cages, teen cages, annoying neighbor cages. I think I can come up with cage that would fit just about everybody. You noticed the wackier and somewhat terrifying ideas came during the roaring 20s. The wood swim suits and snow face shields would not win any beauty awards. My favorite is the handgun camera. It would make it easier for hit-man to prove the job was done to get paid. I don't know about that hangover face mask. I think the Marquis de Sade was using something like that a century or so back, but for a different purpose. And as for the mouse thing, I think the lady in the photo, who would be 102 if she were alive, had some pretty nice gams. I want the pedestrian/cow catcher to drive through Philly. We'll make it a game. Let's see how many annoying jaywalking Philadelphians on their cell phones we can catch. Winner gets to keep his catch.
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